Never be bullied into silence. 

Never allow yourself to be made a victim. 

Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

  What do I want this blog to be about?  

A true self indulgent ramble or a vent of the severest degree? 

Life doesn't take a static stand. 

How can a person respect another, if they believe the other lives in a la la land?  Is there no "screw you" button here?  There is a reason to write.

 A soul search began in Edmonton and I've been carrying it like a badge.  "No matter what happens, you found that person that makes your life better."   I've been taught to grasp those feelings and defend against the dark.  It takes every part of you to not completely let go, a feeling that I"m sure can be related to, quite intensely.  I believe I haven't done enough.. 100% of this time.  When I opened the heart I misplaced some of the filters.  Yet part of the therapy is to not ignore circumstance or situation.  Normalize the emotion & equalize the intensity.  That's it!  This is the end goal for all mood disorders.

Fact: If I let it all go, I will die.  A fact that has to be realized, not wished upon.. fear can be strong.  Its a battle of sorts, you keep yourself safe.  Toss excess medications, talk to the pro's, let that guilt of health win and admit your thoughts.  All things I strongly live by.  What do the pro's do?  Listen.  Is stern when there is self indulgence of the negative.  The most obvious tools are drilled and repeated.  But the rest is up to you.  Meds or not, this is the important shit.  There is no other choice.  So it would be against my entire being to indulge in the passion of suicide.  To use it as a threatening tool or to create loving moments. Just sayin'

Not calling it out, I use it as knowledge.  Its deadly if you have none.

What I didn't expect was that everything had to become still, it threw me for a loop.  I suspected but it wasn't till this evening that it became clear.  One moment fate is the fool's lover then "reality" is the harsh mistress.  Problem is that ALL of this is reality. 

 Extremes.. you are everything or your nothing, this I learned tonight.  There is more.. there is a grey you can visit from time to time.  I was told to not run, well dido.  Situation is the lowest of the low... but keep your wits.  Deception doesn't become you.  Get used to questions, if you tell a million stories...  curious and curiouser.  

 Strength is what builds him..I have all the faith in him, otherwise he wouldn't have been welcomed here.  Damn it..

The best way to support is to jump back into the flow of fate.