Mood Disorder

Do you want to know how messed up I really am? I've started about 6 different blogs on this wonderful free blogger site, and I keep coming back to this one. I buy numerous different writing tablets thinking one blank piece of paper will inspire me more than another. I think if I write then all my problems will be solved, now lets see, for that isn't it obvious that I MUST find a perfect shade of white paper, with just the right texture to it, or a new perfect blog for that matter? Nothing seems right. Each blog is lame, each tablet of paper just not good enough. So I start from the beginning, I mean this whole blog started at the same time of my insanity. Well perhaps when the insanity couldn't be hidden in big macs and coke. Each presentation is wrong for this, I can't seem to just write, fuck it all and write. I don't think anyone reads these anymore. I'm on a 4 week stress leave, of course that doesn't take into account that I've been off and on work for quite some time now. I wrote. Thank god I wrote at least something. I leave now as to not stress about how little I leave behind on this page. But its a step... one.