So yesterday I wrote on my balcony with sidewalk chalk....drew a few pictures. None very good. I liked it, it made me smile, but yet there were a few people missing...I tried not to think about it. But I knew it.

Today I sit on my balcony with my back to the makeshift screen in the window. Made from fabric donated by my heterosexual life partner. The damn"new" cat just learned that it isn't a solid object....
My legs tired from walking the hill, my mind on anything else besides the task I should be completing. Isn't that always the case...I write nothing for a while now, and when I should be working on a dear one's wedding pictures, I find myself here.

It is the fault of one, heterosexual life partner.

She wrote a most wonderful blog, please take time to read it.

So I write this to her... I know how you feel my friend. The closest to me, away. I had my chance at being alone at the beginning, with only a penguin sitting there beside me. Being in the familiar ground wasn't much fun. Taken over by circumstance, it still held the same sights, sounds and most importantly smells. A rough go. And I made my mistakes. Alone can come in many forms...the grass is always greener...that sort of thing.

I find that I am missing my solitude. I'm missing Sam. I have "my life" back, with new twists and turns, yet I sit here on my balcony, and I am comforted to be alone. I find that I'm still alone. My big comfy blankets are not here, so I must once again face the world. And that is a good thing, but it doesn't fill what is missing. And I try not to think about it, but its hard when every turn is so familiar.

What I do take with me? Is that I have to make them proud. My partners in life. Do what they keep telling me I can do. I just find the fear creeps in and that is when I miss my muses to stir me and take me on an adventure. I do so want to take them on one....