Well it is 6:18..according to my mother, now its my bday. 30. I've always thought that you had to grow up when you hit that magic number. Yet my heart isn't ready yet and my mind is fighting the idea of age. I really don't have any worries or concerns about being 30, I just think I HAVE to be bothered with it.

How I'm going to remember by bday?

I'm poor, my cats dead and NOW I'm 30.

I sit here tonight and make some difficult choices. Its time to grow up, just not too much. I have a disfunctional relationship with a beaner, and I am choosing to end it. Its taken a long time, we have been through a lot in our 9 years, and we have looked past alot of our faults. But this time I'm exhausted. I just don't think I want to keep going, I'm tired. And its much cleaner, leaving now.

This decision eats at my heart, and this is how I know I've made a right decison. Nightmares have followed, mocking me. I choose to take this power away...

So this is goodbye. Goodbye to old friends ..to old apartments...to old ways...

"All the things your looking for I hope you find, before your footprints are swept away by the tide..." - Sam Roberts