So the time has come....I leave my home of almost 7 years. How do I say goodbye? Most of my 20's were spent here. Even as a child, we never stayed in one place more than 7 years. This is my home...as much as I have hated it from time to time. I must have the heart of a photographer, I've been trying to take pictures of EVERY angle, so as to never forget. My children (future) will know of the room of inspiration and will hear the stories in those fabled walls. Our ghosts will remain, I wonder if the new owners will be able to feel us?

I make the move to the city, finally. But I will leave before it makes me "hard".

Come on Sam...time for a new adventure!

goodbye

What do you do when you feel the last breaths of hope? As I fill my body with the air around me, it feels tired. I have nothing in my life in which hope is really needed. I have no sick family members, I'm not in jeopardy of losing my life or job. I am not homeless, I am not a drug addict or alcoholic.

SO what are these tired breaths? What is this calm feeling of...nothing. A reaction to being a woman? Perhaps the changes the last 7 months finally catching up to me. I realize I allowed so much drama, I needed to. After feeling dead for a few years, it was like a shot in the arm. Awake!! Too much drama, but it lead me to now..to me. I can't ever regret that.

I want to live for my moment. I have been given this chance to replay certain parts of my life. To find myself, to find my equal, to find my soul.

And today as I sit in my sterile lab, all I can think as I walk the plain bright halls is, "the point? What is it?" There are things that I wish for, selfish and unselfish. I have removed myself from the real world, old friends abandoned. I was told to rekindle them, let others know I need them.

If I said nothing seems real to me, would you understand what I meant my friend?