I shot my third wedding this past Saturday. Hmm not too sure if I’m really comfortable yet. All those family members, distraught brides, impatient guests and more importantly the bastards that shoot off their flash when I take a shot. Say with me, “I will not use my cheap ass camera when the photographer is shooting a wedding”. Please spread that around.

This wedding location was down in the good ol USA. The bride and groom from Canada but the family are south of the border. And unfortunately I would have had a hard time being able to work down there. So I figured I would just say I was heading down to a mall about an hour away. Just a little white lie. So my heterosexual life partner a.k.a. photography assistant for the day, set out for what was going to be a long day.

Sept 11 is just around the corner so the border was on high alert. We had a bomb-sniffing dog making his way around our car. Sitting in our seats, trying to not look terrorist like…wondering what would you do if you heard the dog bark or whine.

After the long wait, inching closer to the gates, we found ourselves faced with a guard that takes his job really seriously. We passed over our passports and id, and he asked us our destination. I recited my well thought out fib and waited to be told to “carry on”. The middle aged guard looked at our id and said “what does the US have that Canada didn’t?” I wasn’t quite sure how to answer that, so I unfortunately said the first thing that came to mind. “Interesting shops?”, with my voice raising higher at the end, just to punch in the sass. Opps. I was met with a sideways scowl from my very frightening border guard. He shook his head, without a trace of a smile and looked closer at out ID’s.
He flipped my heterosexual life partner’s ID over and she had a list of any prescription drugs she is currently on…for emergencies. He looks at her, and she states in her best, I’m really friendly please don’t anally search us, voice. “Its for if I get in an accident and the hospital needs to know what I’m on”. A piece of advice I bestowed on her after seeing all the horror stories in the trauma room.
He let us go through with a look of complete annoyance and a hope never to see these two Canadians again.

The wedding went off without a hitch, cloudy, threatening rain, but not a drop to spoil the ceremony. And then we went to a park for the professional shots, and it poured. Not just poured, more like the small drops falling rapidly leading to a full soaking. The bridal party looking like drowned rats after 10 minutes standing around playground equipment. My main camera decided to kill its battery and my spare…dead from sitting too long. We made a decision to head back to the reception and figure it out there.

We did the shots in a fantastic backyard next door. The bride releasing the look of horror on her face, the smile returning. I was a pro, while inside I wanted to run down the street, screaming, and camera falling to the ground. But I finished the job and enjoyed this funny group of people celebrating, loving every “flowing champagne” moment. From the magical fountains that flowed chocolate to the thievery of a party favour, it was a good night made more memorable by the interesting events.



We tried to find our way back out of the “children of the corn” territory to the safety of our country. As we were stopped at out border, Canada only a foot away, we had to say that we were at a mall for 9 hours and our total amount of purchases? Zero. We were not surprised to hear the guard say “please turn off your engine and open your trunk”. She rifled through the camera bag and proceeded to tell me she could impound the whole lot. I didn’t register it coming through so there is no way to prove its mine. One would think the dings and general usage marks might be a clue. But I had learned my lesson, pissing off a border cop…not a great idea. I smiled and felt my stomach churning; wondering when exactly is it appropriate to soil myself.
She let us pass, with a warning not to bring my camera across again.

The day a long one, glad its done. The work just beginning on the computer, giving the pictures a special edge. The art and inspiration flowing to create a hopefully amazing photograph.